Page 37 1/2 - In France, Angelina Jolie gave birth to twins, a boy and girl. The whole world was perplexed as to why she named the boy Knox and the girl Vivienne. Who cares? Doesn't everyone know there is more important news in the football world?
Page 33 1/3 - Brett Favre has announce he will now hold his breath and stomp his feet until his face turns blue if the Green Bay Packers won't let him start as the quarterback this season. He has been reported as saying the Packers are a bunch of meanie weanies with cooties and has threatened to give each of them a wet willie if they don't let him have his way.
Page 86.99 - Gas prices seem to be going up.
That's all Americans................... Good day
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